(God speaking) “I want you to trust Me in your times of trouble so I can rescue you and you can give Me the glory.”
~Psalms 50:15 TLB
Nowhere in Scriptures does it condemn tobacco or smoking as sins, but in Romans 14, it does tell me that if I’m convicted of something to be a sin, and I choose to do it, then for me it becomes a sin before God.
I remember well when I quit smoking cigarettes; it was in the first week of December of 1974.
I had been a habitual smoker for over 10 years by then, and would be considered a heavy smoker at over a pack a day.
In 1971 the Lord brought me to repentance and back to living for Christ, and He then began to gradually convict me of my smoking, not only because I was Christ’s, but also for the negative health that I was experiencing.
From that point in 1971 I often tried to quit smoking and would repent and vow to quit, only to pick up the noxious weed over and over and over.
During those last years of the habit, I developed an extremely irritating cough, sometimes spitting up pea-sized, hard mucous balls, to my extreme alarm! I was worried!
And simultaneously I would continuously beseech The Lord to deliver me from smoking, but it was all to no avail. What was the answer?
Then, on that fateful day, in December it happened; God had just blessed me with a buck deer and I was dragging the carcass out of the woods. Every few feet I would have to stop and catch my breath and cough furiously for minutes.
After several hundred yards of this activity, I blurted out to The Lord that He had to do something! I desperately wanted to quit and have my health back and I was at my wits end. Besides, I reminded Him that I was soon to be blessed with a child, and I didn’t want to set a bad example for it. I was at the end of my rope and I needed Him to deliver me!
Right there and then, Something stirred within me, or about me ( I can’t remember which) and I threw my pack of Marlboros on the ground ( an act I had done numerous times previously). Instinctively I knew the battle was over.
I never smoked again, even though for 30 years the devil did put the urge upon me at certain times on a regular basis. That urge too, ended along about six or seven years ago. That durn cough stayed with me for over a year though!
Why God chose that particular moment of deliverance, I still have no idea; it remains His secret, but I’m just glad that He did!
Recently I’ve had another similar experience; over the last three years or so, I had become a “closet cusser”. The sin-habit became so bad that I had no control over it.
Because Scriptures do say that swearing, foul language and cussing are definite sins, I really had no problem with believing it, and thus, not doing it. I’d say “dang or darn” when I had an anger burst.
But somewhere along the line a “damn” slipped in, and you know what? It felt good! Why, it gave me an instantaneous release from my anger and stress. But then, right off, I’d feel remorse at my sin, and confess it and ask forgiveness and repent of the act. I was always upset and remorseful for my foul deed.
I never fell in front of other people, except my wife on a rare occasion, but rather I’d have an anger burst, completely unplanned, and the word would come forth quite unexpectedly. Sometimes I’d utter it or other times it would be in my mind alone.
By the fall of 2011 I had a full-blown uncontrollable sin-habit and I seemed to be repenting more than once a day. I was wracked with guilt, remorse, and unworthiness. I would ask, why, God why?
Then in October 0f 2011 the same experience happened to me as happened when God delivered me from smokes.
I had just issued a “damn” and was overwrought with the deed. I remember praying, “Lord, forgive me once again. You know that I don’t want to cuss and I’ve always repented and I can’t quit and I’ve asked Your help before, but this time You’ve got to deliver me! I can’t deal with this any more.”
Suddenly, intuitively, I knew that the battle was over. Again Something stirred within me as I issued my plea. I’ve not burst forth or said the word since that moment, nor even had the urge to! Praise The Lord!!!!
Oh, I still have my anger bursts, but now I’m quite content to say a “darn” or “dang” or “phooey” and even a Praise God! And I’m reminded of God’s deliverance and the joy that results.
Why did He choose those moments to deliver me, and not those countless prayers before? I haven’t a clue; I’m just glad that He did!
So my challenge before you is this; do you too have secret sin-habits that have overcome you and which you have no control over? Do you confess and repent of them continuously the instant when they come? If not, why not?
Victory will eventually come to you if you do so; it won’t be in your timing, but in The Lord’s. So hang in there!
My Testimony
Larry Lightner
For: Calvary Chapel Silver City
January 2012
